It's been a while since someone's smile and laugh mean so much to me.
It's been a while since i have someone who always got my back.
It's been a while since i have someone who always supports me no matter what.
It's been a while since i have someone who ALWAYS believes in me even when i don't.
It's been a while since i feel like i'm at home and you are that home.
Most of my life has been layers of hell of depression and anxiety and i gotta say i'm used to it.
And these past 5 months.. it gets nothing but way worse.
I admit sometimes i cry myself to sleep because i am so far, far away from home and everyone i love.
From you, from my bestfriends, from everything i love.
All my life i've been scared because i was raised in hell. Absolute hell.
That's what make me an emotional trainwreck that sometimes makes me feel like i don't deserve anyone.
But who knows, universe conspires and you walked into my life.
You know that Celine Dion's Have You Ever Been in Love Lyric "...have you ever said a prayer and found that it was answered?" I couldn't relate more.
Everytime i hear your voice i try so freakin hard not to cry because the only thing i want is to be by your side because that's where i am the happiest.
I still remember the times i was drown in tears just praying for someone who simply loves me. Just one is more than enough. I wasn't asking anything more than that because that's just the only thing i need. But sometimes life is a bitch and it just keeps making me miserable day by day.
I don't know the fact that i'm so hungry is what makes me so emotional right now but i love you. I really do.
Real talk, i am a bad person who seriously has done some filthy things but somehow life gives me you. That's what helps me to keep myself together everytime life throws shit at me. That's what keeps me believing that everything, even the worst thing, happens for a reason.
Sometimes i feel like i don't deserve you because i am so broken. I am broken.
But somehow you love my scars and that's what makes me feel like the luckiest, the luckiest creature on earth.
And thank you for always supporting my passion. My boyfriend, my bestfriends, you guys are my only support system.. if someday somehow i make it, i'm dedicating all of that to you all.
❤