Does happiness really exist or are we just pretending to be happy?
Just like water, no matter how hard you try to grab onto it, you'll always lose it. Thats how it is with moments.
Time travel doesn't exist. Because if it does, the future would be empty.
I... don't know.
I just have no idea of what's going on with me.
I am a complex creature, that's why i'm better off alone because i'll always end up confusing people.
I just, don't know.
Sometimes i wish i could just close my eyes and then woke up to a normal life.
I am not happy and i've been unhappy for so long that i've forgotten how does it feel like to be happy.
I am a good girl so i like to pretend to be happy so that people around me wouldn't worry about me. Pretending to be okay is something i've mastered since i can't remember.
No one can keep up with someone who has mental disorders. Both minor and or major.
But maybe i'm that good at acting despite being rejected in literally every casting i've gone to (lol) that some people actually fell into my trap and loved me. And i don't know how long it will take for them to actually realize that everything is a lie and they'll eventually end up being broken hearted.
I'm gonna be that person who sits in a station watching fast trains passing away. I'm gonna be the one who remains. I'm gonna be the reader to every beautiful story because i don't have any. But sometimes i am lucky enough to somehow be a part of that story eventhough surely i won't be in the first and last chapters.
Everytime i feel hurt i remember my enemies and realize that i haven't even talked to them since i can't remember and then i realize that it was me who hurt myself.
- my head feels so heavy, to be continued. (Or not)